This is a song that I heard at the end of the second Lord of the Rings movie. I thought it was quite beautiful, although extremely sad. You should look it up!
Here it is:
Where once was light
Now darkness falls
Where once was love
Love is no more
Don't say goodbye
Don't say I didn't try
These tears we cry
Are falling rain
For all the lies you told us
The hurt, the blame
And we will weep
To be so alone
We are lost
We can never go home
So in the end
I'll be what I will be
No loyal friend
Was ever there for me
Now we say goodbye
We say you didn't try
These tears you cry
Have come too late
Take back the lies
The hurt, the blame
And you will weep
When you face the end alone
You are lost
You can never go home
Monday, May 2, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Essay
I did this essay in a test for my English class. I got 6 out of 6 on it! That's really hard apparently! I'm so proud of myself. :D I let my mom read it and she thought I copied it from somewhere. Apparently my language sounded "too professional." LOL.
The topic was this: Sometimes people are unable to control the direction their lives take.
Here's what I wrote (BTW it is a representation of something non-fictional)...
Whenever I thought of my best friend, certain distinct images came to mind: the diamond-dusted smile, the glittering crystals in her eyes, and the confidently erect posture. I did not understand how these things could change so easily. Suddenly the chipper grin was gone, the joyous sparkle in her eye had vanished, and her shoulders began to slump, as if weighed down by depression.
Within two weeks, her whole life had changed direction completely. I winced every time I saw the scars on her wrists, stomach, and legs. It was as if every time she took a blade to her flawless ivory skin, she was also plunging it into my heart.
I remember one night in her room, where we both sat on her bed facing each other. I desperately clung onto her thin pale hands, once warm and full, afraid she would slip away if I let go.
"Why?" was all I managed before I began to choke on violent sobs.
Her sad blue eyes spilled over with tears. They rolled down her cheeks and splashed onto the bed. The bed sheets became more and more damp as she told me everything. She could contain the pain no longer it seemed as the words erupted out of her. It was all too much for me. I could not even imagine what it was like for her. I felt ill as she described constantly fighting with her sister, her father's inappropriate sexual behaviour towards her, and her mother blaming her for it. All of these things accumulating inside of her brought on a twisted self-image. She told me she had been making herself throw up after meals and that she was constantly thinking of ways to kill herself.
My eyes involuntarily squeezed shut. I no longer wanted to look at what she had become. I hoped that this was a dream. I begged to God that it was. How had this happened so quickly? She clearly could not control what path she had been thrust down. The path of self-loathing. But to be honest, I did not blame her for following the path instead of fighting it. After everything that had happened, I could not deny that I might have done the same thing. It certainly did not help that two of her friends had been diagnosed with cancer and another had committed suicide. Death was shadowing her wherever she went, all the while sharpening his scythe.
I had to put my foot down. Death would not have her. She had too much to offer the world. I stared into her eyes and saw a glimmer of hope. She wanted to be saved. Pulling her into a fierce hug, I promised I would never leave her side. She was stuck with me forever. I would make her whole again. That tiny spark of hope was all I needed.
... :) Love ya, sugar.
The topic was this: Sometimes people are unable to control the direction their lives take.
Here's what I wrote (BTW it is a representation of something non-fictional)...
Whenever I thought of my best friend, certain distinct images came to mind: the diamond-dusted smile, the glittering crystals in her eyes, and the confidently erect posture. I did not understand how these things could change so easily. Suddenly the chipper grin was gone, the joyous sparkle in her eye had vanished, and her shoulders began to slump, as if weighed down by depression.
Within two weeks, her whole life had changed direction completely. I winced every time I saw the scars on her wrists, stomach, and legs. It was as if every time she took a blade to her flawless ivory skin, she was also plunging it into my heart.
I remember one night in her room, where we both sat on her bed facing each other. I desperately clung onto her thin pale hands, once warm and full, afraid she would slip away if I let go.
"Why?" was all I managed before I began to choke on violent sobs.
Her sad blue eyes spilled over with tears. They rolled down her cheeks and splashed onto the bed. The bed sheets became more and more damp as she told me everything. She could contain the pain no longer it seemed as the words erupted out of her. It was all too much for me. I could not even imagine what it was like for her. I felt ill as she described constantly fighting with her sister, her father's inappropriate sexual behaviour towards her, and her mother blaming her for it. All of these things accumulating inside of her brought on a twisted self-image. She told me she had been making herself throw up after meals and that she was constantly thinking of ways to kill herself.
My eyes involuntarily squeezed shut. I no longer wanted to look at what she had become. I hoped that this was a dream. I begged to God that it was. How had this happened so quickly? She clearly could not control what path she had been thrust down. The path of self-loathing. But to be honest, I did not blame her for following the path instead of fighting it. After everything that had happened, I could not deny that I might have done the same thing. It certainly did not help that two of her friends had been diagnosed with cancer and another had committed suicide. Death was shadowing her wherever she went, all the while sharpening his scythe.
I had to put my foot down. Death would not have her. She had too much to offer the world. I stared into her eyes and saw a glimmer of hope. She wanted to be saved. Pulling her into a fierce hug, I promised I would never leave her side. She was stuck with me forever. I would make her whole again. That tiny spark of hope was all I needed.
... :) Love ya, sugar.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Cheese Farts
Some things that suck ass: not having tv and not having internet. At home I have neither of these things. I am currently on the school computer in my spare, wasting my time which should be used to do homework. It's awful! I don't know what to do with myself when I'm at home. Yesterday I did start to learn Fur Elise on the piano though. I've got the first part down, but I can't do it as fast as I'm supposed to. Which is really fast! If you don't know the song, it sounds like this: dananananananana danananananadananananana dananananananana danananananadanananadananaaaaaaa. ;)
The other day, Pardeep (my grad date) told me to apply online to work at a polling station on election day. So I did that at school, because I have no internet at home. About an hour after I got home that day, I got a call from Elections Canada! They told me that I was to come in for training on Apr. 29. This is the day of the Knight's Convention and it's at 1:00. So I'd have to miss the end of school because it's a Friday and then go to this place on King George Highway and learn for two hours what the hell I'm going to do. I wonder when election day is? I hope it's not on any important days that are grad related. I'm glad I got the job though! It was probably because I rambled on about how many people I have to deal with in the Squirettes. I'm pretty excited. I'll be making about $15/h for 14 hours. Long time to work, but it'll be worth it. It's only one day anyway.
I'm stressing about whether my friends will be able to come to my grad. Anne still hasn't faxed the pages back to me and I guess Geoff hasn't signed them yet. STUPID ASS. Anne should tell him that we've been planning to attend each other's grad since like FOREVER so he should just shut his STUPID MOUTH and SIGN IT DAMMIT. If Anne is willing to take the risk of being a third wheel (which she WON'T), then it's her choice. Not Geoff's. Also, I need to get the pages back from Steph and Christine this weekend to get my friends at school to sign it on Monday so that I can hand it in on Tuesday, when it's due. But Christine is still in Hawaii apparently so she can't sign it! I hope she gets back in time to fill it out. Plus, Taryn's parents are in Hawaii also so they can't sign it. I'd have to find someone else to "invite" on of them.
The bell's about to ring. Adios!
The other day, Pardeep (my grad date) told me to apply online to work at a polling station on election day. So I did that at school, because I have no internet at home. About an hour after I got home that day, I got a call from Elections Canada! They told me that I was to come in for training on Apr. 29. This is the day of the Knight's Convention and it's at 1:00. So I'd have to miss the end of school because it's a Friday and then go to this place on King George Highway and learn for two hours what the hell I'm going to do. I wonder when election day is? I hope it's not on any important days that are grad related. I'm glad I got the job though! It was probably because I rambled on about how many people I have to deal with in the Squirettes. I'm pretty excited. I'll be making about $15/h for 14 hours. Long time to work, but it'll be worth it. It's only one day anyway.
I'm stressing about whether my friends will be able to come to my grad. Anne still hasn't faxed the pages back to me and I guess Geoff hasn't signed them yet. STUPID ASS. Anne should tell him that we've been planning to attend each other's grad since like FOREVER so he should just shut his STUPID MOUTH and SIGN IT DAMMIT. If Anne is willing to take the risk of being a third wheel (which she WON'T), then it's her choice. Not Geoff's. Also, I need to get the pages back from Steph and Christine this weekend to get my friends at school to sign it on Monday so that I can hand it in on Tuesday, when it's due. But Christine is still in Hawaii apparently so she can't sign it! I hope she gets back in time to fill it out. Plus, Taryn's parents are in Hawaii also so they can't sign it. I'd have to find someone else to "invite" on of them.
The bell's about to ring. Adios!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
A Night's Adventures
I'm currently lounging on a couch in my friend Taryn's house, watching her struggle to make the tv work.
I came over to her house yesterday, after buying four Monster energy drinks. We worked for a short while on the poem interpretation project that we are supposed to present to the class on Monday, but quickly got bored and ended up watching tv. When we got bored of that, we played Rockband for quite a while. We then moved to the computer and checked our social networks and watched some funny clips on YouTube. Then Scott, Taryn's brother, arrived. He had his girlfriend with him and his friend, Zack. After observing us laughing at some ridiculously funny videos on the Tube, Zack said, "These girls need boyfriends." This quickly brought about another round of laughter.
Zack was in our grade 8 art class. He's really funny and cool. Scott's girlfriend is pretty cool, too. I don't understand how Scott managed to befriend these people when he's kind of an asshole. I can't count how many times he called Taryn and me fags, queers, and other names last night. He did give me a bullet from his rifle though. Kind of neat.
So, after Scott agreed with Zack that we needed boyfriends, he mentioned that he was going on a beer run. I seized the opportunity and asked him if he would boot for us. He was shocked and exclaimed that we were underage. I merely rolled my eyes at this. He asked what we wanted and I said jager. He and Zack high-fived, saying that they thought they would never see this day come (Taryn drinking hard liquor). So we coughed up our money and Scott returned with a mickey of jagermeister, which had apparently been $26! My jaw dropped to the floor when he told us this. So we all got our drink on. I think that jagerbombs are my favourite drink because you can't taste the alcohol, but it still hits you hard later. Taryn and I each had five shots each I think. This only got us a little buzzed, even though we finished the mickey. But I had a lot of fun just chilling and listening to hardcore music.
So that's how my Saturday night went!
I found out yesterday, just after I paid a girl so that I could go on the grad camping trip, that I couldn't go. Why? Convention. It's on the same weekend. I was so upset, considering I went through a lot of trouble getting the money to go. I had to ask for it back, which made me feel really bad. Dammit.
I've also decided that my favourite tv show is That 70's Show.
:)
I came over to her house yesterday, after buying four Monster energy drinks. We worked for a short while on the poem interpretation project that we are supposed to present to the class on Monday, but quickly got bored and ended up watching tv. When we got bored of that, we played Rockband for quite a while. We then moved to the computer and checked our social networks and watched some funny clips on YouTube. Then Scott, Taryn's brother, arrived. He had his girlfriend with him and his friend, Zack. After observing us laughing at some ridiculously funny videos on the Tube, Zack said, "These girls need boyfriends." This quickly brought about another round of laughter.
Zack was in our grade 8 art class. He's really funny and cool. Scott's girlfriend is pretty cool, too. I don't understand how Scott managed to befriend these people when he's kind of an asshole. I can't count how many times he called Taryn and me fags, queers, and other names last night. He did give me a bullet from his rifle though. Kind of neat.
So, after Scott agreed with Zack that we needed boyfriends, he mentioned that he was going on a beer run. I seized the opportunity and asked him if he would boot for us. He was shocked and exclaimed that we were underage. I merely rolled my eyes at this. He asked what we wanted and I said jager. He and Zack high-fived, saying that they thought they would never see this day come (Taryn drinking hard liquor). So we coughed up our money and Scott returned with a mickey of jagermeister, which had apparently been $26! My jaw dropped to the floor when he told us this. So we all got our drink on. I think that jagerbombs are my favourite drink because you can't taste the alcohol, but it still hits you hard later. Taryn and I each had five shots each I think. This only got us a little buzzed, even though we finished the mickey. But I had a lot of fun just chilling and listening to hardcore music.
So that's how my Saturday night went!
I found out yesterday, just after I paid a girl so that I could go on the grad camping trip, that I couldn't go. Why? Convention. It's on the same weekend. I was so upset, considering I went through a lot of trouble getting the money to go. I had to ask for it back, which made me feel really bad. Dammit.
I've also decided that my favourite tv show is That 70's Show.
:)
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Parody
Original:
"How do I love thee?"
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! -- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
My Parody:
"How do I hate thee?"
by The Guy Whom Elizabeth Barrett Browning is Obsessed With
How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways.
I hate thee not merely for love of spite
But for you always keep me in your sight.
Your sickly stench has some demeaning grace.
I hate your greasy hair, your clothes, your face.
I hate thee everyday and every night.
When I see you there, I quickly take flight.
I gag when I see at me you do gaze.
You think your habits are worthy of praise.
Quality air lost with your every breath,
That voice of yours sounds of a dying goose.
I would rather be with those folks on meth
Than with you, --- if indeed I could do choose,
I would kick thee unto the realm of death.
"How do I love thee?"
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! -- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
My Parody:
"How do I hate thee?"
by The Guy Whom Elizabeth Barrett Browning is Obsessed With
How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways.
I hate thee not merely for love of spite
But for you always keep me in your sight.
Your sickly stench has some demeaning grace.
I hate your greasy hair, your clothes, your face.
I hate thee everyday and every night.
When I see you there, I quickly take flight.
I gag when I see at me you do gaze.
You think your habits are worthy of praise.
Quality air lost with your every breath,
That voice of yours sounds of a dying goose.
I would rather be with those folks on meth
Than with you, --- if indeed I could do choose,
I would kick thee unto the realm of death.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Rambles
Time for another blog!
The poem I wrote in my last one was for English class.
That reminds me, I have homework that I haven't even started. UGH. Homework should not be allowed during spring or winter break. It's not fair. I have no motivation to do it right now. I just want to lay around and eat junk food!
I eat a lot of junk food. It's probably really unhealthy. Sure I won't get fat, but it could damage my body in many other ways. It's probably why I have so many zits... I should start eating healthier. I've been drinking a lot of water at least! Because I gave up every other drink for Lent, except for milk and alcohol of course. ;D It doesn't appear to be doing anything though. >.>
Anne visited on Saturday! And Cat has finally returned from Golden. Cool! They both came over to my house along with their sister, Elizabeth. We hid a cake for Elizabeth in the sink to congratulate her for making it into Inter-A. We told her to go wash her hands and she didn't even notice the cake! It took forever. Anne and I were just laughing our asses off while she stood there, confused. Eventually she saw it and gasped! It was pretty great. We then went to the mall to shop for a graduation dress for Elizabeth. She's graduating from elementary school! I can't believe it. She's growing up so fast.
Last night I watched the movie "Brothers" with Jessica. It made me cry. A lot. :P Jessica was like, "You're so emotional!" But it was really sad! Pretty darn good though. Hopefully tomorrow we will go and see "SuckerPunch" in the theatres. It looks like it while either be a really good or a really bad movie. I hope it's good.
I've been reading a book called "Red Riding Hood," which currently has a movie adaptation in the theatres! It's a decent book so far so I wouldn't mind seeing the movie. Only after I've finished the book though.
I have been writing my story some more. I've decided that I want Anne and Jessica to help me name the chapters. :) And also to help me title it! Is that something you would like to help me with, Anne? I sure hope so because I'm totally lost in that aspect!
This blog has just been a bunch of rambles. Sorry about that. XD
The poem I wrote in my last one was for English class.
That reminds me, I have homework that I haven't even started. UGH. Homework should not be allowed during spring or winter break. It's not fair. I have no motivation to do it right now. I just want to lay around and eat junk food!
I eat a lot of junk food. It's probably really unhealthy. Sure I won't get fat, but it could damage my body in many other ways. It's probably why I have so many zits... I should start eating healthier. I've been drinking a lot of water at least! Because I gave up every other drink for Lent, except for milk and alcohol of course. ;D It doesn't appear to be doing anything though. >.>
Anne visited on Saturday! And Cat has finally returned from Golden. Cool! They both came over to my house along with their sister, Elizabeth. We hid a cake for Elizabeth in the sink to congratulate her for making it into Inter-A. We told her to go wash her hands and she didn't even notice the cake! It took forever. Anne and I were just laughing our asses off while she stood there, confused. Eventually she saw it and gasped! It was pretty great. We then went to the mall to shop for a graduation dress for Elizabeth. She's graduating from elementary school! I can't believe it. She's growing up so fast.
Last night I watched the movie "Brothers" with Jessica. It made me cry. A lot. :P Jessica was like, "You're so emotional!" But it was really sad! Pretty darn good though. Hopefully tomorrow we will go and see "SuckerPunch" in the theatres. It looks like it while either be a really good or a really bad movie. I hope it's good.
I've been reading a book called "Red Riding Hood," which currently has a movie adaptation in the theatres! It's a decent book so far so I wouldn't mind seeing the movie. Only after I've finished the book though.
I have been writing my story some more. I've decided that I want Anne and Jessica to help me name the chapters. :) And also to help me title it! Is that something you would like to help me with, Anne? I sure hope so because I'm totally lost in that aspect!
This blog has just been a bunch of rambles. Sorry about that. XD
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Yellow Spell
Your hair drips like honey
Onto your velvet shoulders
The whipped silk that is your skin
Flushes golden in radiant aurora
Isn't this easy?
Blue exists only in the waves
And behind airborne cotton
The sugar of perspiration caresses you
Guzzle up the tender warmth
Isn't this easy?
Trials withdraw from your mind
Which is drowned in pure euphoria
Collect the kisses of the celestial sapphire
Only the rain of pleasure matters.
Onto your velvet shoulders
The whipped silk that is your skin
Flushes golden in radiant aurora
Isn't this easy?
Blue exists only in the waves
And behind airborne cotton
The sugar of perspiration caresses you
Guzzle up the tender warmth
Isn't this easy?
Trials withdraw from your mind
Which is drowned in pure euphoria
Collect the kisses of the celestial sapphire
Only the rain of pleasure matters.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Do It or Die
My Dad never listens to me when I try to talk to him in person. I was subjected to having to send him a Facebook message. It may seem rather dramatic, but it's how I really feel.
Here it is:
"You know what's awful? That I have to send you a damn Facebook message to get you to listen to me. You have no idea how much like mom you are.
"I don't think you get what you are doing to me. I'm never good enough for you! Do you not understand that makes me feel worthless? Whenever I try to do something nice, you just say thanks or give me a kiss on top of my head. But you know what? That's not good enough either! I need to KNOW that you appreciate it. Otherwise I'm going to keep feeling worthless. And do you know what happens when someone feels worthless? You of all people should know.
"Ever since mom moved out, you've been taking out your anger at her on me. I don't know if you realize it, but I know it's true. I remember around the time she moved out, you told Erik and I never to threaten you by saying we would just ditch you and go to mom's if you tried to discipline us. We promised that we wouldn't. But then you started telling me to just get out of your house anyway, which is rather hypocritical. Even if it was for something that was completely your fault, you would tell me to get out. Do you really think it is okay that you call me a bitch and a cow and tell me to get out when I merely ask you to stop swearing? Think about it. And why do you want me to move out? Do you want me gone, Dad? Do you really want me gone? Well, now I don't only feel worthless. I feel... pointless. Why am I here if I'm not wanted? And by "here" I don't just mean in this house.
"You need to take this seriously, Dad. What you do now could affect our entire relationship and our future with each other. If you keep pushing me away, you're going to lose another one of your girls."
I wish I didn't have to do this, but the way he treats me is really tearing me down in every possible way. And I don't want to end up doing something stupid. I just hope he responds in the way that I want him to.
Here it is:
"You know what's awful? That I have to send you a damn Facebook message to get you to listen to me. You have no idea how much like mom you are.
"I don't think you get what you are doing to me. I'm never good enough for you! Do you not understand that makes me feel worthless? Whenever I try to do something nice, you just say thanks or give me a kiss on top of my head. But you know what? That's not good enough either! I need to KNOW that you appreciate it. Otherwise I'm going to keep feeling worthless. And do you know what happens when someone feels worthless? You of all people should know.
"Ever since mom moved out, you've been taking out your anger at her on me. I don't know if you realize it, but I know it's true. I remember around the time she moved out, you told Erik and I never to threaten you by saying we would just ditch you and go to mom's if you tried to discipline us. We promised that we wouldn't. But then you started telling me to just get out of your house anyway, which is rather hypocritical. Even if it was for something that was completely your fault, you would tell me to get out. Do you really think it is okay that you call me a bitch and a cow and tell me to get out when I merely ask you to stop swearing? Think about it. And why do you want me to move out? Do you want me gone, Dad? Do you really want me gone? Well, now I don't only feel worthless. I feel... pointless. Why am I here if I'm not wanted? And by "here" I don't just mean in this house.
"You need to take this seriously, Dad. What you do now could affect our entire relationship and our future with each other. If you keep pushing me away, you're going to lose another one of your girls."
I wish I didn't have to do this, but the way he treats me is really tearing me down in every possible way. And I don't want to end up doing something stupid. I just hope he responds in the way that I want him to.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Modelling
On February 16th, my school had a Grad Fashion Show.
This is what I did when I hit the end of the runway.
I should be a model!
I was actually thinking of applying to itmmodel.com. I often imagine myself being a model. XD
This is what I did when I hit the end of the runway.
I should be a model!
I was actually thinking of applying to itmmodel.com. I often imagine myself being a model. XD
Friday, February 11, 2011
To Anne
Whenever I hear this song, I think of you. And whenever I think of you, I hear this song.
The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere
Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
Cause I wish you were here
I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
Till I look at my hands and feel sad
Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly
I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone
But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist deep in thought because when
I think of you I don't feel so alone
As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear:
"Oh darling I wish you were here"
"Vanilla Twilight" -Owl City
Happy Birthday Anne. I love you!
The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere
Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
Cause I wish you were here
I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
Till I look at my hands and feel sad
Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly
I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone
But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist deep in thought because when
I think of you I don't feel so alone
As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear:
"Oh darling I wish you were here"
"Vanilla Twilight" -Owl City
Happy Birthday Anne. I love you!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Answer Your Damn Phones!
It's interesting when so much annoying shit happens that the tiniest thing can set you off.
1. My dad tells me he broke his foot so he can't pick up Steph, Christine, and I from Anne's house tomorrow.
2. So I worked my ass off cleaning this house for nothing.
3. Anne's mom Nancy calls me and tells me that she wants to visit her brother at 3:00 so she can't drive us to Anne's house today until like 6:00.
4. Anne isn't answering the text I sent her.
5. Steph isn't answering the text I sent her.
6. Steph isn't answering her cellphone.
7. Steph isn't answering her home phone.
8. I don't know Christine's cell number.
9. Anne isn't answering her home phone.
10. Anne isn't answering her cellphone.
11. My mom isn't answering her cellphone.
12. My iPod is telling me it has no internet connection.
13. I called everyone about an hour ago and still no one has called me back.
So right now I have a good sized rage boiling inside of me. So I think to myself, I'll eat some breakfast and calm down.
I grab a bowl, a spoon, and cereal and set it all down on the table. I then go to the fridge to grab the milk. And guess what? There's no milk.
The rage and frustration overflows. Tears, hair-pulling, couch-punching, pillow-screaming.
1. My dad tells me he broke his foot so he can't pick up Steph, Christine, and I from Anne's house tomorrow.
2. So I worked my ass off cleaning this house for nothing.
3. Anne's mom Nancy calls me and tells me that she wants to visit her brother at 3:00 so she can't drive us to Anne's house today until like 6:00.
4. Anne isn't answering the text I sent her.
5. Steph isn't answering the text I sent her.
6. Steph isn't answering her cellphone.
7. Steph isn't answering her home phone.
8. I don't know Christine's cell number.
9. Anne isn't answering her home phone.
10. Anne isn't answering her cellphone.
11. My mom isn't answering her cellphone.
12. My iPod is telling me it has no internet connection.
13. I called everyone about an hour ago and still no one has called me back.
So right now I have a good sized rage boiling inside of me. So I think to myself, I'll eat some breakfast and calm down.
I grab a bowl, a spoon, and cereal and set it all down on the table. I then go to the fridge to grab the milk. And guess what? There's no milk.
The rage and frustration overflows. Tears, hair-pulling, couch-punching, pillow-screaming.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
GRAD PHOTOS!
This morning I got up at 8:45am to get ready for my grad portrait photos happening in Vancouver at 12:10pm. Kind of early, right?
Wrong.
I was still rushing at the end. First, I got up and shovelled down some breakfast and then straightened my hair. I started to work on my makeup after playing around on my ipod for a little bit (looking up different types of grad makeup). I screwed up quite a bit so I had to keep fixing it. When I was done, it was like 10:20! I then hurried to get my dress on and my new stick-on bra.
Yesterday I was freaking out because I had to wear a dress today but my bra straps kept showing through. And I definitely didn't want that in my pictures! So I tried taking the straps off my bra, but then it kept slipping down. I remembered Taryn telling me about buying a stick-on bra from La Senza for her grad fashion show dress and I figured that would probably be a good idea. My grad fashion show is backless, so I could use it for today and for the fashion show. Also, my grad dress (which my dad didn't actually return), has straps that criss-cross in the back so I couldn't have straps for a bra showing there either. So I went to La Senza with my mom and we found the stick-on bras and they were like $60! I had a little spaz. Then we went to Zellers to see if they had anything like it and they did but they weren't padded and looked really strange. Umm... no thanks. We went to Winners to look there, but only found the same thing as in Zellers. I convinced my mom to give me $20 and then we went and bought the ones from La Senza! I also found a random $20 in my wallet which I didn't know I had so I basically only spent like $20. I'm going to try to mooch some money off of my dad to pay for the rest of it.
Anyway, I put the stick-on bra on this morning and it fit so well and stuck on so well that I no longer wondered why it was $60. I wish I could wear it all the time. Unfortunately, it's not good for your boobs or something if you wear it for over 6 hours. When I had my clothes on, I started attempting to curl my hair, but it was being seriously uncooperative. I only managed to curl some of my hair by the time we had to leave, but it still looked decent. So then I got my dad's opinion on the shoes I should wear. He chose my black stilletos. Ouch. So I put them in a bag and slipped on some flip flops so I wouldn't have to wear them except for in the pictures.
We then hopped in the car at around 11:25am and started heading to the Artona studio in Vancouver! We arrived at 12:00pm (good timing), and then I went and signed in while my dad payed the $60 deposit. Then my dad went to go get his sketchbook so that he could draw while we were waiting and I was briefed on the types of photos that would be taken of me.
I then sat down on the bench and Jordan, a very cute guy, walked over to me and said, "Hey, Raven." I smiled and said, "Hey, Jordan." He then asked how it was going and I said pretty good. He then walked away, but I was still excited because he's a babe! And I used to have a massive crush on him in grade 9.
I was then called into the first room which was the white room. My dad came with me so that he could hold my stuff. I put my stilettos on and clack-clack-clacked into the middle of the room.
I'm going to describe my poses here because Anne said her poses were boring and I want to see if they were any different. :P By the way, the photographer directed all of my poses.
The first thing I did was stand with one hand on my hip. I then faced the other way and crossed my legs with my hands held together loosely in front of me. I then asked to use the blue crayon prop and I put it on my shoulders like a bazooka with my other hand on my hip. :D I then took a picture sitting on a white stool. Keeping good posture while sitting was kind of difficult. I then used a mini colluseum-like column with yellow flowers on it to lean my elbow on. She then showed me the photos and I decided to get rid of the first one because we could only have four from this room.
The next room was the black and white photos. The new guy photographer was really fun to work with. He was very nice and convinced me to smile showing my teeth. He showed me the three pictures he took. We then moved on to a rock wall in the same room which I leaned against with one hand on my hip and the other held loosely at my side. In the same room was a makeshift living room. I sat in a black leather chair in front of the fireplace with one leg crossed and my hands on my knees. He showed me all of the pictures and then took me to do my photos for the yearbook. This was in a different room. I didn't really like my smile in the pictures, but I chose my favourite one anyway.
I then went to a different photographer who took pictures of me with my cap on and holding a diploma in front of a library background.
After that, I was finished! I walked back into the main room where I met my friend Pardeep. He said, "Lookin' good, Raven." ;) I laughed and then my dad and I left. All of the pictures took only about 35 minutes.
We went to Earl's for lunch. This cute waiter who wasn't even ours came to our table and asked how our food was. He asked me if my wings were too hot and I said no, they were good. He smiled at me, complimented my dad's shirt, and then left. My dad raised his eyebrows at me after his departure. :D
After lunch, I texted Pardeep to see if he was done his photos. He said he was. He also said, "You looked great by the way." Aw! Thanks Pardeep! I definitely want to strut my stuff by his side in the grad fashion show, which I'm really looking forward to.
Well, that's all for now! Finally I wrote more than 5 paragraphs.
Wrong.
I was still rushing at the end. First, I got up and shovelled down some breakfast and then straightened my hair. I started to work on my makeup after playing around on my ipod for a little bit (looking up different types of grad makeup). I screwed up quite a bit so I had to keep fixing it. When I was done, it was like 10:20! I then hurried to get my dress on and my new stick-on bra.
Yesterday I was freaking out because I had to wear a dress today but my bra straps kept showing through. And I definitely didn't want that in my pictures! So I tried taking the straps off my bra, but then it kept slipping down. I remembered Taryn telling me about buying a stick-on bra from La Senza for her grad fashion show dress and I figured that would probably be a good idea. My grad fashion show is backless, so I could use it for today and for the fashion show. Also, my grad dress (which my dad didn't actually return), has straps that criss-cross in the back so I couldn't have straps for a bra showing there either. So I went to La Senza with my mom and we found the stick-on bras and they were like $60! I had a little spaz. Then we went to Zellers to see if they had anything like it and they did but they weren't padded and looked really strange. Umm... no thanks. We went to Winners to look there, but only found the same thing as in Zellers. I convinced my mom to give me $20 and then we went and bought the ones from La Senza! I also found a random $20 in my wallet which I didn't know I had so I basically only spent like $20. I'm going to try to mooch some money off of my dad to pay for the rest of it.
Anyway, I put the stick-on bra on this morning and it fit so well and stuck on so well that I no longer wondered why it was $60. I wish I could wear it all the time. Unfortunately, it's not good for your boobs or something if you wear it for over 6 hours. When I had my clothes on, I started attempting to curl my hair, but it was being seriously uncooperative. I only managed to curl some of my hair by the time we had to leave, but it still looked decent. So then I got my dad's opinion on the shoes I should wear. He chose my black stilletos. Ouch. So I put them in a bag and slipped on some flip flops so I wouldn't have to wear them except for in the pictures.
We then hopped in the car at around 11:25am and started heading to the Artona studio in Vancouver! We arrived at 12:00pm (good timing), and then I went and signed in while my dad payed the $60 deposit. Then my dad went to go get his sketchbook so that he could draw while we were waiting and I was briefed on the types of photos that would be taken of me.
I then sat down on the bench and Jordan, a very cute guy, walked over to me and said, "Hey, Raven." I smiled and said, "Hey, Jordan." He then asked how it was going and I said pretty good. He then walked away, but I was still excited because he's a babe! And I used to have a massive crush on him in grade 9.
I was then called into the first room which was the white room. My dad came with me so that he could hold my stuff. I put my stilettos on and clack-clack-clacked into the middle of the room.
I'm going to describe my poses here because Anne said her poses were boring and I want to see if they were any different. :P By the way, the photographer directed all of my poses.
The first thing I did was stand with one hand on my hip. I then faced the other way and crossed my legs with my hands held together loosely in front of me. I then asked to use the blue crayon prop and I put it on my shoulders like a bazooka with my other hand on my hip. :D I then took a picture sitting on a white stool. Keeping good posture while sitting was kind of difficult. I then used a mini colluseum-like column with yellow flowers on it to lean my elbow on. She then showed me the photos and I decided to get rid of the first one because we could only have four from this room.
The next room was the black and white photos. The new guy photographer was really fun to work with. He was very nice and convinced me to smile showing my teeth. He showed me the three pictures he took. We then moved on to a rock wall in the same room which I leaned against with one hand on my hip and the other held loosely at my side. In the same room was a makeshift living room. I sat in a black leather chair in front of the fireplace with one leg crossed and my hands on my knees. He showed me all of the pictures and then took me to do my photos for the yearbook. This was in a different room. I didn't really like my smile in the pictures, but I chose my favourite one anyway.
I then went to a different photographer who took pictures of me with my cap on and holding a diploma in front of a library background.
After that, I was finished! I walked back into the main room where I met my friend Pardeep. He said, "Lookin' good, Raven." ;) I laughed and then my dad and I left. All of the pictures took only about 35 minutes.
We went to Earl's for lunch. This cute waiter who wasn't even ours came to our table and asked how our food was. He asked me if my wings were too hot and I said no, they were good. He smiled at me, complimented my dad's shirt, and then left. My dad raised his eyebrows at me after his departure. :D
After lunch, I texted Pardeep to see if he was done his photos. He said he was. He also said, "You looked great by the way." Aw! Thanks Pardeep! I definitely want to strut my stuff by his side in the grad fashion show, which I'm really looking forward to.
Well, that's all for now! Finally I wrote more than 5 paragraphs.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Bam! Bam! Bam!
Right now I'm hanging out with Stephanie at her house!
It's fun!
She made me ravioli!
We are texting Lucas Crace!
I haven't blogged in forever!
I'll try to blog tomorrow!
Adios!
It's fun!
She made me ravioli!
We are texting Lucas Crace!
I haven't blogged in forever!
I'll try to blog tomorrow!
Adios!
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